


You say Hell like it's a bad thing

by vislokawitch



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, BAMF Lucifer, Female Lucifer, Gen, Genderfluid Angels, Hell, I furnished Lucifer with self-esteem, Lucifer as the Queen of Hell, Mentions of Suicide, No Romance, Other characters only mentioned, slices of life from Hell, thank you very much, the Deckerstar imploded and collapsed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 05:31:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19846609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vislokawitch/pseuds/vislokawitch
Summary: A year after leaving earth Lucifer is content with her life in Hell... that is until she’s suddenly summoned back by Chloe. She is not pleased in the slightest.





	You say Hell like it's a bad thing

**Author's Note:**

> Standard disclaimer: I don’t own Lucifer. English is not my first language so sorry in advance for any mistakes. 
> 
> Lucy’s memories from Hell are in italics. 
> 
> **Content warnings:** not graphic violence, mentions of a suicide of a damned soul, some of Chloe’s comments about Lucifer changing gender are thoughtlessly offensive

Lucifer stalks through the corridors of her palace in Pandemonium, the capital city of Hell; the retinue of her faithful demons trots after her, trying to keep up with her long strides. She pays them no mind, happy with results of renovations in the Ninth Circle. Her work here might be grim sometimes but also oddly satisfying.

Yes, this day is proving itself quite good... that’s it until an overwhelming feeling of being summoned strikes her like a lightning.

“No...” gasps startled Lucifer.

Her mind goes momentarily blank in shock because this shouldn’t be happening. She’s destroyed all recordings of any pesky rituals ages ago. No one should be able to summon her, damn it!

Unfortunately, her wishes don’t count for much as her physical form dematerializes from the infernal realm and she’s forcibly drawn into the earthly one. It’s like being sucked into a giant vacuum and about as pleasant as she’s dragged between dimensions.

Instinctually she opens her enormous white wings to stabilize herself as she rematerializes on the Earth and glares darkly at the fool who dared to demean her like this.

“Bloody hell!” she curses.

“Lucifer?” whispers startled Chloe.

The Devil narrows her eyes at her in annoyance. The Detective looks exactly the same as the last time she saw her, with her blonde hair in a severe ponytail and pale blue eyes. It probably should trigger fond memories of their partnership... but Lucifer is too outraged by being so rudely ripped away from her life.

“It is me that you’ve summoned, yes,” she fumes as she folds her wings in an impatient gesture. “Congratulations.”

Sure, she looks quite different than the last time the Detective saw her but it’s no reason to gawk at her like an imbecile.

Instead of a posh suit, now she wears sinfully tight leather pants and a velvet, crimson overcoat so long it reaches the floor; a black vest does wonders with her lithe frame. There are two curved daggers strapped to the small of her back, ready to be used at a moment’s notice. High heeled boots add a few inches to her already impressive 6’3 height. Her previously coiffed hair now fall to her waist in lustrous curls; elaborate braiding and an elegant diadem keep it from her face.

“Is this _really_ you?” asks Chloe frowning in disbelief, looking her up and down.

Lucifer barely stops herself from rolling her eyes – she’s already confirmed that. She detests repeating herself.

“Yes. Instead of a Dark Lord, I’ve chosen to be a Queen,” she announces with dignity.

Chloe only blinks owlishly, apparently having no appreciation for literature references. Eh, peasants...

“I... I’ve missed you,” she says finally, nodding quickly. “I’ve found a ritual to summon you...”

“Indeed, I can’t help but notice,” drawls Lucifer. “Well? Where do you have it?”

“I... um... there...” Chloe, clearly stunned by her insouciant behavior, points at the table where lies an old musty book and a bunch of papers covered in scribbles.

Lucifer swiftly makes her way to the table and picks up one of the pages at random. She quickly skimmers through, her scowl progressively darker with each word, and then she sets the whole thing on fire. Chloe yelps behind her but the Devil pays her no mind as she watches the papers and the book burn. When she’s sure there’s nothing left of them, she extinguishes flames with a careless gesture.

She turns back to Chloe and pins her with an obsidian stare.

“Where have you found it?” she asks.

“In the Vatican,” answers Chloe, watching her with wide eyes.

“Oh, isn’t the Vatican the gift that keeps on giving,” growls Lucifer spitefully. “Perhaps, I need to pay their library a visit.”

“Don’t hurt them!” exclaims Chloe, taking a step back from her and rising her hands in a placating gesture.

Lucifer is thoroughly unimpressed. She’s only meant that she really should check the Vatican’s library in search of further surprises and get rid of them. Harming the locals has never been her intention but it’s nice to know that the Detective immediately assumed it is.

Summoning rituals had been a bloody inconvenience for everyone, so both Heaven and Hell unanimously have done their best to erase any mentions of them even from the most obscure sources. This one only forced her to appear on the Earth but (luckily for Chloe) it didn’t actually try to bind her to the summoner’s will beyond that. Obviously, it wouldn’t have worked and it’d only piss her off even more. The humans who tried that on her or other angels quickly learned how big mistake they’d made.

Not that Lucifer is pleased with what this development as it is.

She was on her way to an important meeting with representatives of various regions of her domain. Perhaps, a queen is never late and everyone else is simply too early but making the poor buggers wait for literal centuries is a bit of overkill even for her infernal majesty the Queen of Hell, the Morningstar, the Princess of Darkness and the Supreme Ruler of the Underworld.

Unfortunately, it’s precisely what’s happening, thanks to the fact that one second on the Earth equals a year in Hell. Which is just splendid... because it means she’s already missed an orgy with an ambassador of Faerie and his entourage. She’s been really looking forward to this.

Being summoned like some common demon is embarrassing, the indignation of this makes her temper flair. And the diplomatic mess she’ll have to deal with after she’ll return...

“I am the _Devil_ ,” she says darkly. “I started a civil war in Heaven because I abhor being subservient to anyone... even God Almighty Himself. I do not tolerate being summoned like a servant by _anyone_ ,” she narrows her eyes at the Detective. “This one time I will let this slide for old times’ sake... but don’t try this again. _Ever_.”

Chloe stares at her as if Lucifer was a wild animal ready to strike. She takes a deep breath and there’s this familiar steely look in her eyes.

“Lucifer,” she says sternly. “I don’t know what happened to you in Hell but you’re not there anymore. You’re on the Earth. You can’t keep acting like this and I need you to calm down. Here you don’t have to be a monster anymore.”

Lucifer rises an eyebrow not amused.

* * *

_She opens the door to a cell._

_The stench of mold, piss and human degradation hits her like a hammer as she enters what seems to be a bathroom in some seedy bar. One of the lights is burned out and the other gives nothing but ghastly, yellow glow. The walls are dirty, covered in scribbles and stains. The whole place probably hasn’t been cleaned in years._

_In a corner sits a young girl, fifteen at most; there’s an empty syringe near her tight. Thanks to the magic of the cell the Devil knows it’s more than an accidental overdose – it’s been a suicide._

_By God’s decree, the punishment for this is eternal damnation._

_The girl looks up at her with the eyes of an animal who knows she’ll be hurt even if she doesn’t understand why. She’s practically radiating darkness – but it doesn’t actually originate from her. It’s what she’s unwillingly absorbed from a lifetime of abuse but, instead of lashing out, she turned it against herself._

_The child – no, not anymore, no one with eyes this old can still be called a child – gives her a look devoid of hope._

_Lucifer sighs and (slowly to not startle her) opens her wings. The girl gasps in awe as the dirty bathroom transform in the divine, warm light that emanates from each iridescent feather._

_“You’re so beautiful,” whispers the girl._

_“Thank you, darling,” answers Lucifer. “It’s been said that I’m the most beautiful of all angels. Stand up,” she commands firmly but kindly._

_The girl obeys, still staring at her in wonder. There are reflections of the glowing wings in her large eyes._

_“Your debt has been_ forgiven _, Kelly Gray,” the Devil announces with all the authority of a ruling monarch. “You’re free to leave this place and all it represents.”_

_Not that Lucifer actually believes that the girl_ needs _any forgiveness but she’s long since learned that the souls often desperately need to hear that to move on._

_Dad – a complacent old bastard that He is – decided in His infinite wisdom that life is His most precious gift to humanity and he severely punishes anyone who rejects it. Unfortunately, when your life is nothing but an endless pit of misery and despair, death seems like a sweet release, an escape, salvation. Too bad all you get is Hell, but Lucifer is the Queen of this place – she doesn’t have to condone this atrocity!_

_She extends her hand to the girl who shyly takes one step toward her. Then the next and finally she carefully grasps the Devil’s outstretched hand._

_It’s enough of an admission that the girl accepts what she’s been told and so Lucifer channels her power as a psychopomp. The warm glow emanates from their clasped hands and the girl disappears from Hell and is directed to Heaven._

_The Angel of Light closes her eyes in satisfaction as she feels a small pang as the soul is released from her grasp into her brother’s care. The girl will be safe now._

* * *

“You always say the _sweetest_ things to me, Detective,” she comments dryly.

Chloe observes her with a frown, clearly taken aback by the Devil’s aloofness. She doesn’t realize she’s lost her hold on Lucifer’s heart long ago. She hasn’t forgotten – she never forgets anything – but all the emotions her former partner once invoked seem so distant now. In eons that passed since they went their separate ways, she had many lovers, many relationships... most of which she remembers with fondness. After all, it’s not like her capacity for love ends with one mortal woman.

“What happened to you?” demands Chloe, crossing her arms on her chest.

“Nothing,” shrugs Lucifer. “Only time.”

“What?” she’s clearly even more confused. “It’s been only a _year_ since you left.”

“Indeed but in Hell times goes differently. It’s been millions of years for me,” explains Lucifer. She narrows her eyes sensing she’s about to be berated for being overly dramatic, so she adds: “And I mean that literally. It’s been dozens of millions of years in Hell.”

Miraculously, the Detective picks up a note of warning in her voice to not deny the sincerity of her words.

“Oh,” judging by her face, Chloe’s mind just got blown by this perspective. It doesn’t take her long to recover. “What about the demons? Have you dealt with them?”

“But of course,” answers Lucifer surprised there’s any doubt about that. “No one questions my rule.”

* * *

_She soars above her loyal legions dispersed in a perfect formation over the Fields of Pain. Even from this high and in the perpetual darkness of Hell, her keen eyes are still able to see each of her demonic soldiers in their black armors. Behind them loom dark shapes of siege machines and flames of torches shine like little stars. Squadrons of all manners of winged creatures hover in the air, ready for the Devil’s every command._

_Across the field lurks the usurper’s rabble. She bares her teeth in a menacing smirk, knowing full well they all can clearly see her thanks to her bright wings._

_It’s time to strike. She unleashes her power in the form of a tsunami of flames and for a few minutes their glow paints all the area in a blinding light – one could think the sun is rising in Hell._

_And then the flames fade and the enemy’s army still stands unharmed._

_Lucifer frowns, squinting at them. The realization dawns on her when she finally notices symbols painted on their armors and shields – they’re all hiding behind sigils warding from angels... her including. Oh, the insolence of identifying her as one of God’s flying monkeys... They will pay!_

_“They think they’re sooo clever,” she breathes in disbelief._

_Using the angel warding spells is no small feat in Hell but magic like that needs a constant supply of energy. It doesn’t take her long to track down where it comes from. The sorcerer burning damned souls as fuel somewhere at the back of their formation is pretty easy to sense, even as he hides at the back of the enemy’s formation._

_She gestures with her spear for her legions to hold positions and turns toward a squadron of frost wyrms hovering close by._

_“Saphirion, you’re with us,” she orders._

_She launches toward the hostile army flying at her top speed, the ice dragons swiftly form a hawk formation behind her._

_Her enemies don’t waste any time – they immediately start to shoot arrows at them but the Devil is prepared. She sets all projectiles on fire and as they’re away from the protection of sigils, they quickly turn into harmless ash. The rebellious demons double their efforts but she unflinchingly summons a wall of fire on her path, additionally momentarily blinding them._

_Like a dagger, Lucifer cuts through the remaining flames, her fury makes her wings glow even brighter. She falls like a bird of prey on her target of choice. The sorcerer._

_She attacks with her spear and sharp wings, slaughtering rebellious demons by dozens. Her light armor doesn’t hinder her dance-like fighting style, her precise fluent moves are nothing short of poetry. Her long hair remain in a tight braid – after all, she’s not stupid enough to charge into a battle with them floating all over her face._

_The frost wyrms wreck destruction providing a distraction from her progress... She doesn’t need much time to decapitate the enemy’s sorcerer and she feels as the spell breaks into nothing._

_The Devil gestures with her spear for the wyrms to retreat and they don’t waste even a second as they fly away. She gives them enough time to escape from her range and once again she sets everything ablaze. Agonized howls of her enemies are like music for her ears; flames don’t harm her, only caress her like the most tender of lovers. Lucifer closes her eyes in triumph and pleasure._

_When the fire starts to fade, she flies up far above them and channels her divinity through her wings, making them shine like the Star of the Morning she’s named after. It’s the signal for her army and her legions attack, howling their Queen’s name as a battle cry._

_It doesn’t take long for the rebellious rabble to be obliterated._

* * *

“Dealing with those miscreants wasn’t _too_ hard,” adds Lucifer boastfully, shaking away pleasant memories of her final victory.

“Then why haven’t you come back?” asks Chloe who now becomes angry. “We’ve all been missing you horribly. I thought, what you had here meant something to you. That _I_ meant something to you.”

“It did,” admits Lucifer. “But I’ve resumed my duties in Hell and I don’t feel inclined to abandon them again anytime soon. I’m back in the gods game, the Yahweh’s dance... you know the drill.”

After her return to Hell, she moped for years (much to the demons’ despair). She emerged from her dark mood after several battles and few memorable occasions when her angelic twin, Michael, popped down for a visit and they both got stupid drunk (this probably terrified the demons even _more_ ). She almost feels bad for poor denizens of the infernal realm. They were minding their own business and then suddenly they had to scamper to avoid empty liquor bottles thrown by the inebriated Devil-Archangel duo who additionally sang ‘The Plastic Jesus’ on repeat.

Yes, it definitely wasn’t their finest moment. They thoroughly traumatized the local population with their recital. Allegedly now it’s used as a torture device in some cells – Lucifer wisely chooses not to check for her own sanity’s sake. She even received a petition to next time keep their singing to her quarters, instead of giving a performance from the top of the palace roof.

After the infamous singing incident, they started reminiscing about better times, namely how she ‘inspired’ some Christians into the worship of the Holy Prepuce. She was tempted to resurrect the whole thing – it shouldn’t be difficult, some minor miracles here and there, and a flash of gorgeous white wings would do the trick.

Michael – the Prince of Trolledom that he is – had few interesting suggestions as well... at least, after he managed to stop laughing. She had every intention of using them – humankind and the angels both take themselves far too seriously. A touch of mockery will do them good, especially now that the new millennium has begun. Eh, the great work of Satan never ends.

“I can’t believe you,” agitated Chloe interrupts her pleasant musings. “I thought you had changed, that you stopped being so damn _selfish_ all the time but clearly I was wrong. Do you ever think about _anyone_ but yourself? How could you put _me_ through all of this and after I told you I loved you?!”

Lucifer’s eyes harden.

“Back then I loved you too but I told you I won’t return. You should have let me go for your own sake,” she reminds coolly. “You’ll never be able to understand how much my time on Earth meant to me... but it’s not where I belong. Not in the long shot.”

She doesn’t regret her vacation on the Earth. It was a much-needed break from her duties and she learned plenty in her time here. She has to admit it’s not her place, though; she is immortal – the humans are not. They burn with such an intense flame while they live their mayflies’ lives which is both their beauty and their curse. She allowed herself to get drawn too close and lost her own perspective in the process. In the retrospect, it hadn’t done her sanity any favors.

“So that’s it?” Chloe shakes her head incredulously. She looks both angry and heartbroken.

“I believe so,” confirms Lucifer. “For all it’s worth, I am sorry.”

Eh, those holiday romances... at the time they are so passionate, so full of meaning, but then the real-life strikes again and they turn to be just hollow. How else they’re supposed to be without either party truly knowing the other, aside for the parts they chose to show each other? In the countless eons of her life, Lucifer learned that everything passes away, the good and the bad. Even the most ardent love ultimately fades, mortal civilizations rise and fall in the perpetual cycle of life... given enough time even the stars die.

Well... Lucifer remains but she’s eternal. She’s not even sure if she’s able to truly die.

“But...” suddenly Chloe’s lips start to wobble. “I thought that maybe you’re in trouble, that something horrible happened to you in Hell and you can’t leave.”

“I am the Queen of Hell, not its prisoner,” she reminds gently. “I’m _free_ to come and go whenever I want.”

“Then why you don’t come back?” insist the Detective earnestly.

“What can I say... Hell has its own special set of pleasures,” the Devil smirks like the cat that ate the canary.

* * *

_Lucifer lounges on her throne in the palace of Dis. She’s the very picture of aristocratic decadence with one leg carelessly thrown over an armrest; she lazily admires a blood-red apple she holds. No one interrupts her but the throne room is full to the brim; some demons even hang from elaborate chandeliers. They’re all awaiting incoming entertainment._

_Large double doors burst open and two guards escort inside an angel. There are sneers and growls among gathered demons, few smaller ones are even nipping at the newcomer's ankles. He strides toward the throne, glaring at them all like they were vermin._

_The angel is tall, pretty and blond which describes depressingly large percent of Silver City’s population. The look on his face takes sanctimonious and haughty to another level. By all appearances he loathes every second he spends in Hell; after his return home, he’ll probably burn his white robes as they got soiled by infernal ash._

_In short – he’s a standard angel number 874531, nothing particularly interesting._

_“The Fallen One,” he greets Lucifer in such manner like he was doing her a great honor by speaking to her at all. It’s not that he skipped all honorifics – she’s never cared for them – but by speaking as the first he purposefully disrespects her in front of her entire court._

_She doesn’t even grace him with her glance as she lovingly polishes the apple. Of course, it doesn’t take long before the angel starts to squirm. Those pompous types Silver City is so full of just hate being ignored. He actually pretends to cough to get her attention so she takes a bite of her apple instead and chews slowly._

_“I am Arariel of the Seraphim,” he announces finally, rejecting a chance to fix his faux pas and digging himself even deeper. “I have been sent by the Council of Heaven.”_

_The Devil finally looks at him._

_“Hmm, tell us, Ariel, do you think red apples fit well with our aesthetic? Or maybe the green ones would be better?” she asks innocently._

_“_ What? _” the dumbfounded look on angel’s face is priceless but he quickly recovers and in his anger turns as red as Lucifer’s apple. “My name is Arariel,” he reminds through gritted teeth. “And I am not here to play your games, Serpent. I have to deliver a message of the highest importance, even though every moment in this vile place repulses me.”_

_Lucifer pouts._

_“Aww, and here we hoped you’re here to share with us the wisdom of Heaven..._ Ardiel _,” she taunts._

_By some miracle, the angel blushes even harder when he realizes that she mixes his name on purpose and reacts typically for a person with an inflated ego which was just pocked._

_“You are the most despicable of them all!” he yells clenching his fists. “You are... you are... a treacherous Beast,” he finishes lamely._

_The Devil shows her pearly white teeth in a predatory smile._

_“Oh, you’re just adorable,” she snorts. “But unfortunately for you, we can’t let your rudeness slide.”_

_With that she sets Arariel on fire. He crumples on the floor screaming and frantically trying to extinguish it. She lets him writhe for a few minutes before she makes flames disappear with a snap of her fingers. The angel stills and looks at himself, clearly puzzled that he’s unharmed and not burned to a crisp._

_Lucifer stands up from her throne and descends the steps to stand over Arariel._

_“Relax, it was just an illusion,” her grin widens. “Though it felt pretty real for you. So... you have something to tell us, we gather?”_

_The angel blinks at her, gathering his scrambled thoughts with an effort._

_“I... the Council, they say they have an eye on you and... and if you’ll try to spread your evil over the world, you’ll face the wrath of Heaven.”_

_“Seriously?” exclaims Lucifer, in exasperation throwing her arms up. “This old nonsense is why you’re wasting our time?”_

_The angel pales slightly._

_“Uh... Michael the Archangel... he said that... that no matter what infernal poisons you shall throw at him, he will prevail... and it isn’t over.”_

_Lucifer has to bite inside of her cheek to not burst out with laughter. In a loose translation from the Mike-speak to English, it means: “Thanks for the mother of all hangovers, sis. See you soon.” Some demons start to cackle as they’re on the joke since they couldn’t help but hear Lucifer and Michael’s caterwauling in failed attempts at singing. The Devil shots the demons a glare to shut them up which they promptly do._

_“Please, kindly inform our dearest brother that the Beast has arisen once more after three days,” says gravely Lucifer. It really took her this long to cure the bloody hangover. “He’s welcome to try to defeat us again. He shall not prevail.” There’s no way in the literal Hell that Michael will ever out-drink her._

_There’re vague groans from the demons – the poor darlings probably fear the repeat of the last time the exuberant duo partied together. Naturally, Arariel interprets this as a promise of Apocalypse or something of that ilk because he pales even more._

_“Now begone before we’ll use you as hellhounds’ new chew-toy,” commands Lucifer_

_The angel runs away as fast as his legs can carry him, much to the infernal court’s amusement._

* * *

“Great, this is just great!” snaps Chloe, gesticulating wildly. “I’ve gone through all this trouble to summon you, just for you to tell me some orgies in Hell are more important than _me_. You suddenly decided you like to be the Queen of the Damned and we can’t be together.”

“I’m afraid it’s not possible as I’m no longer the person I was before I left,” she calmly reminds her. “Far too much time has passed for me to remain the same. I’m no longer what you want... perhaps, I _never_ had been.”

Chloe scoffs and starts to pace like a caged tiger; the Devil impassively watches her giving her time to collect herself. She once loved this woman so she owes her at least her patience... for a time.

“Lucifer...” starts the Detective after a while. She seems unnerved by her dispassionate demeanor. “I see you believe otherwise but I’ve gotten to know you really well... maybe even _better_ than you know yourself. Before all of this, you were trying to redeem yourself, to be a better _man_ ,” she comes closer to her, ignoring how the Devil’s eyebrows have been rising higher and higher through her speech. “You could change back and be that _man_ again.”

“Are you telling me you want me to be a male again?” she asks coldly. Before she’s been merely exasperated but now she’s getting truly angry.

“Well... _yes_ ,” admits Chloe, missing the shift in Lucifer’s mood. “You being a man _again_ would make returning to your life much easier... I only say this because I want what’s _best_ for you.”

Suddenly the room is much colder than a moment before as the temperature literally drops. The Devil is very much not pleased.

“It’s beyond presumptuous of you to call me a man. I am something... much _different_ ,” she says, her voice like ice, each word sharp like a dagger. “I’ve been a male when we’ve met... but not anymore. _I_ decide what I am, not you... not anyone else.”

Chloe nods hastily apparently realizing her mistake a little bit too late. Lucifer fumes silently, reminded of the small-mindedness of humans. Of all sentient species in this universe, only they are capable of turning gender, sexual preferences or skin color into excuses to demean each other. As billions of years old celestial being, she’s not even capable of understanding this. As a matter of fact, neither Heaven nor Hell judge mortals by either of those things... only by the state of their souls.

It was one of the very few times when God and Goddess were good parents to the angels. They told them that their bodies are gifts but also raw material and so they’re free to mold them however they want to make them as comfortable homes for their souls as possible.

Most of the angels took this advice to heart but the fact remains that they mostly presented as male while on the Earth... mostly to avoid an annoyance of carrying the Word of God but not being taken seriously for no other reason than having boobs.

Lucifer herself mostly went as a male because having casual sexism thrown in her face has always made her exhibit smiting tendencies. She’s never been good at resisting temptation so in this case, she’s been avoiding it.

Not so long after her return to Hell, she realized she’d been missing her female form... and so she changed.

“Lucifer... I’m sorry,” says quickly Chloe. “I didn’t mean it like _that_ and you know it, now please stop _putting words_ in my mouth. If you just listened for a moment...”

“No,” she interrupts and the Detective shuts up immediately, finally realizing the air is thick with the Devil’s rage. “You’ve said more than enough. You’ve summoned me without care if it’s what I want. You’ve immediately made ignorant assumptions about me, my life and my intentions. You implied you know my mind better than I do and what you decide is what’s the best for me. Meanwhile, you’ve been completely dismissing all of my choices. And on top of that, now you’re basically calling me delusional,” Chloe shrinks under Lucifer’s heavy glare. “I _literally_ set people on fire for less. I’m not interested in anything else you have to say.”

The Devil spreads her wings, considering her next move. Since her schedule got blown out of Hell anyway, maybe she should see how Maze is faring? She’s left her all of her earthly possessions and they’ve renewed their bloodbound so her favorite demon can summon her when she’s ready to return to Hell.

While she’s at it, it’d be good to check on Amenadiel, Linda and little Charlie. Her brother visited her few times and basically flooded her with pictures of his baby son. Maybe auntie Lucy can teach the fledgling the fine art of pranking his daddy... It won’t hurt to find out...

“Please, wait...” calls Chloe, seeing she’s about to take off. There are tears in her eyes.

“Goodbye, Detective,” she says. “We’ll _never_ see each other again.”

And with that, the Devil flies off to forever disappear from Chloe Decker’s life.

**Author's Note:**

> The thing about ‘a queen never being late’ is a quote from ‘The Princess Diaries’. 
> 
> Yup, Lucy uses ‘the royal we’ in Hell aside for her meeting with a damned soul. She’s nice like this. 
> 
> If you think, you saw obscure references to Warcraft III, you’re not wrong. My inner nerd is showing. 
> 
> I’m lazy as all hell so I’ve made Lucy and Mike have a similar relationship as in ‘The 9th circle’. 
> 
> There really is something called the Holy Prepuce and it was still worshipped back in XX. Believe me, I wouldn’t have been able to come up with the idea like this on my own... But it fits so well with Lucy being a huge troll, I just couldn’t resist. 
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holy_Prepuce


End file.
